Friday, February 17, 2012

A special teacher moment

This week has been a tough one at work. Long story vague and short enough for safety, my teaching ability was called into question (by some students who I believe had a bad combination of having it out for me and genuinely not learning as much in my class as others because they put forth less effort and little to no enthusiasm--but, hey, can't win 'em all). It has been a week of self-doubt, defensiveness, desperately hurt feelings, and internal panic. One of my most tragic flaws as an educator is my desire to make everyone happy and my subsequent need for approval (yes, my name is J, and I'm a people-pleaser), not just from administrators but from colleagues, parents, and students as well.

After today's attempt on my part to smooth things over, I felt drained and defeated (despite my administrator's advice not to feel that way at all). Combine this with pregnancy hormones and the chaos that is my multi-tasking life these days, and you've got a considerable mess.

Tonight I logged onto my school Facebook page and scrolled through the news feed, all the usual types of posts from my students--music videos, carefully angled photos taken on cell phones into mirrors, and misspelled updates about the drama of life. Then I noticed a post with my name in it. It read:

dude we have 1 of the best teachers of all time i kno she thinks im playin but shes still best
to mrs O'Shields

This was the student whose truancy conference I attended earlier this week.

Several other students commented and agreed with his post.

These are the moments that remind me it's going to be okay, strange as it is.

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